Kakashi Unmasked: Take 2
by demonrubberducky
Summary: Naruto and company inlist Iruka's help in their quest to see Kakashi's face, but does their old sensei have an ulterior motive? Kakairu, sasunaru
1. The PLAN

Hello everyone! This is my first ever slash-fic, so please be gentle with it. If you like it, let me know, because I've got a ton of story-ideas floating around inside my head (always popping up at the most inopportune times; does that happen to anyone else?), so I can whip up more. Thanks, and enjoy.

Disclaimer: If Naruto belonged to me, the Sasuke/Naruto battle wouldn't have ended with a lousy ALMOST kiss, let me tell you. But alas, I own it not, so we'll just have to satisfy ourselves with fan fiction.

Pairings: Kakashi X Iruka, SasuNaru

Author note: Sorry if the title is a little misleading. There is no Take One, or anything. The Take Two comes from the fact that it's Team 7's second attempt to see Kakashi's face.

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Kakashi Unmasked: Take Two

Chapter 1- The PLAN

"I've got a PLAN!" Naruto shouted to his teammates, who were waiting, as always, on the bridge for Kakashi. He came running up, panting and grinning, waving a piece of paper (orange, Sakura and Sasuke noted with a groan and a wince, respectively) covered in doodles.

"A plan for what, Naruto?" Sakura asked, barely retaining Inner Sakura from bashing him over the head for interrupting her private time with Sasuke. Her beloved didn't seem to like it when she hit Naruto (when he didn't deserve it)…

Naruto's eyes narrowed and his face became oh-so-mysteriously shrouded in shadow (Konoha had strange natural occurrences like this; Gai and Lee's departures always summoned up sunsets as well, and any tragedy was accompanied by a well-timed shower of rain. Go figure.). "A PLAN to see… IT!" He began laughing maniacally, and Sakura decided that he merited some abuse, Sasuke or no Sasuke.

"Dobe." As Sasuke spoke, Sakura stopped her pounding and gazed adoringly at him, while Naruto, still clutching his head and whimpering, looked up at him. "We decided to forget about Kakashi-sensei's face. We haven't trained enough for that yet."

"But…but…the PLAN!" Naruto stuttered. Naruto's blue eyes began to widen slowly. Sasuke flinched and tried to look away with a trademarked Uchiha snort, but Naruto's eyes locked with his and he found himself frozen. The blue eyes began to glisten. "I spent a WHOLE WEEK thinking up a way for us to see it…together." In the brief moment before Sasuke was able to school his facial expression back to the trademarked Uchiha scowl, he stared on with the deer-caught-in-the-headlights look.

"Alright, dobe, let's hear it." Sasuke sighed (inwardly; he would never be caught dead sighing out loud) when Naruto's eyes shrunk back down to their normal size and moisture level.

"My PLAN is… to recruit HELP to distract Kakashi-Sensei, so that we can SEE his FACE!" Naruto beamed as he told his brilliant plan. Sasuke sweat-dropped and Sakura even broke out of her enraptured Sasuke-staring to wind up for another blow to Naruto's head. Naruto dodged, and began running.

"Seriously! We could get Iruka-sensei to help us; he knows everything!" He shouted

"Baka! Iruka-sensei would never help us! He hates pranks and rule-breaking!" Sakura shouted as she sprinted after her prey.

"That's not true. Iruka-sensei used to be the biggest prankster of his year! He told me so! SO nahh!" Naruto turned around and blew Sakura a raspberry, tripped on a loose plank on the bridge, and went flying. Sakura tried to stop, but had too much momentum going, and ended up stumbling over him. Both shinobi-in-training rolled a few times, before stopping in front of two sandaled feet.

"Yo!" If Kakashi was surprised to find two-thirds of his genin team in a dog-pile at his feet, he didn't show it. Knowing them, it was probably a regular occurrence. Sakura and Naruto managed to untangle themselves enough to sit up and point at him.

"You're late!" they shouted in unison. (Kakashi loved having his team work together and agree on something. He was such a selfless, giving sensei that if it took arriving three hours late to make his team function more smoothly, he was willing to make that sacrifice. He was surprised they hadn't nominated him for the Jounin Sensei of the Year Award, but he was also extremely modest, so he didn't mind that they hadn't.)

"Ah, I was rescuing orphans from a fire, and I had to go back and save the their orphan cat-"

"Liar!" they shouted. Ah, sweet normality.

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I promise the next chapter will have Iruka in it, and it will be longer. I didn't know the intro was going to be so long (although when I upload it, I'll bet you it's going to look pretty puny. Anyways, if you like it and think I should continue, or detest it and want me to stop embarrassing myself, post a post and let me know. Any if anyone is especially appalled by my sentence structure, grammar, spelling, or tendency to go off on tangents and is willing to devote some of their spare time to fixing it, I would be eternally grateful for a beta. Thank you, my lovely first shonen-ai audience!

PS- This is also up on aarinfantasy, so if anyone frequents there and here, no, I haven't stolen this, that would be me on there. Thank you!


	2. The Accomplice

AN: Yay! I love you, my firstthree reviewers! Onward with the fic!

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Kakashi Unmasked: Take 2

Chapter 2- The Accomplice

Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto were leaning on the railings of the bridge once more, sweaty, smelly, and generally worse for wear. Kakashi had finally freed them after a day filled with D-rank missions. Naruto swore loudly that he would go missing-nin if he had to chase _one more stinking lost pet_. His teammates didn't respond outwardly, but Inner Sakura shouted her agreement with a storm of curses and fist-pumping, and Sasuke chin twitched up and down slightly, which meant that they both shared Naruto's sentiments.

"So show us the plan, dobe." Sasuke said at last. (Sakura noted a new first in her Sasuke-stalking journal: Sasuke willing starts a conversation!) Naruto pulled out the crumpled orange paper and proudly showed the other two the detailed diagrams of the PLAN (read: smudged-up crayon doodles).

"First, we need to pool our resources," Naruto explained, pointing to a picture of a money bag with a number one beside it. Sakura and Sasuke dug through their pockets and produced a couple coins each for the cause.

"Will this be enough?" Sakura asked, hoping she wouldn't have to break into her binoculars-for-Sasuke-watching fund. Naruto eyed the money shrewdly, and nodded at last. He pointed at step two, a crudely but lovingly drawn ramen stand, complete with stars and beams of light surrounding it.

"Next we need a free ramen pass," Naruto paused for a second to wipe away the drool, "for coercion."

"Do you HONESTLY think that Iruka-sensei will help us out for RAMEN, dobe?" Sasuke asked. Naruto looked confused.

"But… Ramen is GOD!" He exclaimed. Sakura and Sasuke shook their heads.

"We'll have to think of something else to offer later." Sasuke said at last. "What's next?"

Naruto pointed to a stick figure with a little line over its nose and a hi-ate over a little pony-tail: stick-Iruka. "We use the free ramen pass" Another pause to wipe off saliva "got convince Iruka-sensei to help in our dastardly PLAN to SEE KAKASHI-SENSEI's FACE!" He pointed to step four, stick-Iruka with a light bulb over his head with stick-Team 7 surrounding him. "Then Iruka-sensei uses his all-knowing powers to think of a plan for us!"

"That's it?" Asked Sakura. Her left eye began to twitch. "You mean your 'brilliant PLAN', which includes OUR money, is just to get Iruka-sensei to think of a plan?" Naruto nodded. Inner Sakura exploded. "YOU IDIOT! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" Sakura tackled Naruto and began beating him. The blond just curled up into a ball and waited for the abuse to finish. He knew he couldn't expect NORMAL people to comprehend his genius. His PLAN would work, they'd see. He began laughing manically, until Sakura silenced him with a kick.

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"So let me get this straight," Iruka said to his three former students, who had arrived at his door as he was about to leave his classroom for the day ('They could have showered before they came,' he had though as he wrinkled his nose. 'They look filthy and I think Naruto is injured'). "You want me to risk my life trying to unmask one of Konoha's most elite jounin for a free ramen pass?" The three nodded, and stared blushing as their former academy instructor tumbled out his chair and rolled on the floor, laughing.

"If you help us, we could come in and demonstrate some jutsu to your classes." Sakura offered. Iruka tried to imagine any of the three with children.

"No."

"Why not, sensei?" Naruto whined.

"Because, Naruto, even if you were on your best behavior, your mere presence incites children to mischief. And you'd probably wind up teaching them perverted jutsus, instead of anything useful." Naruto opened his mouth to respond that his Sexy-no-jutsu was nothing if not useful in a village jam-packed with perverts, but Iruka silenced him with a glare. Sasuke snickered.

"And, you, Sasuke. I don't need another generation of Uchiha fan-girls (pardon the pun!). And I most definitely wouldn't trust you with children and sharp objects. I distinctly recall you trying to use a class of new academy students for moving target practice one time."

"I was only eight at the time!" Sasuke protested, blushing. He had told Iruka-sensei to NEVER mention that incident again. And he'd only gotten the idea because his evilbastardbrother, before he'd gone psychotic and slaughtered his clan, had mentioned to Sasuke while he was throwing shurikens that Sasuke couldn't have hit a wounded water buffalo two feet in front of him if it was moving, and that he needed more practice with targets that weren't so stationary.

"You had them paint their vitals red, Sasuke." Iruka deadpanned. "I recall you had kunai in hand, aiming when your instructors caught you. _You_ will not be getting near any of my students, thank you."

Iruka looked Sakura over. She was intelligent and had no history of causing riots or potentially fatal woundings, so he might benefit by having her come into his class. But he'd never hear the end of the complaints if he were to only allow Sakura to teach his pupils. He sighed. Then he smirked. If Naruto was giving up free ramen, Sasuke was voluntarily agreeing to spend time with other human beings, and Team 7 was all getting along, then Iruka was quite sure he could blackmail them into just about anything in exchange for his help.

"Alright, kids, give me the ramen pass. I'll have a list of the chores you'll be doing for me delivered to you first thing in the morning."

"You mean you'll help us, sensei?" Sakura gasped.

"Yes. Meet me here right after class tomorrow, and I'll see what I can do about your sensei's face." Team 7 cheered, each in their own way: Naruto jumped up and down, flashing the victory sign and praising his brilliant PLAN; Sakura squealed her most fan-girlish squeal and pumped her fists; and Sasuke flashed a trademarked Uchiha almost-smile and shoved his hands in his pockets. The three genin left, still basking in their victory.

"What have I gotten myself into?" Iruka asked himself, as he crumpled up a paper and threw it into the trash. It flew straight into the trash can and landed on top of a rather large pile of similarly balled up papers. He started writing out another idea (hey, Naruto had to learn his diagramming from someone!), shook his head, and tosses that one too. He opened up a desk drawer to get more paper, and discovered a four-month old card a student had made for him, wishing him a Merry Christmas. The youngest Inuzuka girl, who was besotted with him, had drawn a picture on it, a nice winter scene with herself holding Iruka's hand and skipping off into a sunset, small puppy in toe. There was even a nice border of candy canes and mistletoe.

"Hmm" Iruka though. He dug through the drawer and finally found a piece of paper for his newly inspired plan. "Mistletoe…A bit out-of-season, but it still might work." He chuckled to himself as he schemed. "Kakashi, you may be elite, but you've never dealt with prank-master Iruka! Poor fool. You don't stand a chance!"

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On the other side of the village, Kakashi looked up from his porn and sneezed.

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Next chapter will contain Kakashi/Iruka interaction. Actually, to tell you the truth, this fic isn't going to be terribly much longer. I haven't decided if I want to attempt any 18+ at the end, considering I have absolutely no idea how to write smut. Oh well, I'll see when I get there.


	3. The Mistletoe

Author Note: Please excuse any poor attempts or inaccuracies in any of the soon-to-happen slashy scenes. I have 0 experience with romance. And also beware of my liberal use of mistletoe, a full three months after the Christmas season ended. If it makes any difference, this fic has been floating around in my head since before then…

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Kakashi Unmasked: Take 2

Chapter Three: The Mistletoe

Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura were panicking. It wasn't because of the day's mission, pre-commencement of the PLAN jitters, or even Iruka's chore-list from Hell. They were panicking because Kakashi-sensei was following them to the academy, where they were supposed to be meeting Iruka-sensei.

"DAMNIT!" Inner Sakura wanted to yell. "We've finished our mission. Get the Hell out of here!" But Sakura was silent. They couldn't let Kakashi suspect. Naruto was being conspicuous enough as it was, looking back at him every five seconds, poking his teammates, pointing at Kakashi, and making throat-cutting gestures. Sakura didn't know whether to sing or scream when they finally arrived at Iruka-sensei's door. Kakashi lagged behind, staying right around the corner from the classroom in question. Sasuke, who was the calmest of the three in the middle of such a monumental crisis, knocked on the door.

"Kids! I'm glad you're here. I've thought of a wonderful plan to try-" He trailed off as his former students waved their hands wildly and pointed down the hall. He followed their fingers and caught a glimpse of silver hair. 'Oh, shit' was the only thought that his ever-so-helpful mind was kind enough to supply him with. He stared for a few moments, and finally managed a wooden "Good afternoon, Kakashi-san!" before Sakura rescued him.

"Iruka-sensei, we're here for the _chores_ we're doing for you, in exchange for helping us on our _mission_." She winked and told him. Unfortunately, her acting skills were no where up to par with her intelligence. Kakashi didn't seem to notice though; since he'd been caught, he emerged and waved at Iruka from behind his latest Icha Icha novel.

Iruka grabbed the students and dragged them into the classroom. "We'd better get started on those chores, then." He shouted as he slammed the door. Kakashi would have been confused by Iruka's strange behavior, if he hadn't been distracted by Jiraiya's masterpiece.

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"What the HELL is he doing here?" Iruka shouted at the genins as soon as the door was shut. "It's too early!" Iruka had spent the night before preparing for the confrontation, but he hadn't had time to test it, and he would've liked to have allotted himself a few hours for emotional preparation before the chips hit the fan, so to speak. In fact, now that he thought about it, there were a lot of things he needed to do before he went through with his plan: eat a last meal, say goodbye to loved ones, rewrite his will before Kakashi killed him for what he was about to do (as it was, it left everything to Naruto, except for some money that would be donated to the Konoha Orphan's Fund; it he was going to die because of Naruto's stupid curiosity, he would be damned if he was going to leave him all of his stuff!).

"We could distract him for you and give you more time to prepare," Naruto offered. He was smirking, which meant he was already thinking of mischievous ways to deal with his instructor. He didn't notice that his old sensei has starting to hyperventilate.

"Breathe, Iruka-sensei. Calm down. We'll see it another day. You don't have to do it today." Sakura suggested kindly. Yes, breathing. Breathing was good. 'Iruka and air are friends,' Iruka decided. Tranquility washed over him.

"The plan is commencing now. Naruto, I need you to send three clones out of here, so Kakashi will think you've left. You'll stay over there, on the far wall. Konohamaru had a little mishap last time there was a substitute. He decided to try his hand at teaching giant shuriken throwing. There are still some holes in that wall, hidden by the shadow of the desks. You'll be able to see through to the next classroom." Iruka paused to breathe again, while Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura were nodding in agreement. "You'll have to stay here until we've left, and more importantly, you'll have to stay quiet no matter what. Any noise you make will be jeopardizing all our lives." He stared at Naruto, who paled, but nodded. The blond made the hand seals for his favorite jutsu, and produced three clones in a puff of smoke. He henged one into his rival and the other into his crush, and sent them out the door. Iruka took a few last breaths, schooled the worry off of his face, and followed the clones. The genins looked at each other in wonder.

"Why's he so nervous, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked.

"I don't know." Sasuke admitted. 'I wonder what he's planning.'

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"I guess one of the other teachers must have straightened up my classroom," Iruka told the clones as they stepped out the door, "so you three are off the hook for today. Now, was there something you needed, Kakashi-sensei?" Iruka asked the silver-haired man.

"Ah…" Kakashi was deep in thought for a moment (or so Iruka thought; but it is very hard to tell what a person is thinking when the only part of their face exposed is an eye). Then he held up a finger. "I have a mission report to give to you." He said with his eye closed in a Kakashi smile.

"But I'm off duty right now, Kakashi-san. You can turn that in at the mission board."

"But you're closer." Kakashi handed Iruka his mission report, which the academy sensei looked over in disgust. It was burned in at least four spaces, and his first year students had better handwriting than the scrawl it was written in.

"But Kakashi-sensei, I thought you hadn't finished it yet!" clone-Naruto piped in. "At least, that's what you just told the mission board people right before we came over here." Iruka raised an eyebrow at Kakashi, who glared at the clone. 'Can't hit child in front of Iruka' he repeated to himself. "Shouldn't you be heading home now?" he asked, shooting them a one-eyed glance that quite clearly said 'if you stay another minute, I'll kill you with a stapler.' Kakashi's eye was very expressive when it chose to be. The clone-students quickly shuffled out of the academy and disappeared.

"I guess I can take that for you, if you're too busy to go back by the board." Iruka told Kakashi, leading him into the classroom next to his own. "Come with me and I'll get you a folder to file it in."

"Thanks." Kakashi followed Iruka into the room, happily reading his porn. He never suspected the trap awaiting him…

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Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke crouched in the shadows of the adjacent classroom and watched through the shuriken holes in the wall as their two sensei's crossed the room. They heard the pop of a jutsu, and saw the two men freeze.

Kakashi lazily looked up to see what it was that had trapped himself and Iruka in a jutsu. A green sprig of mistletoe hung innocently from the ceiling. His jounin senses told him it had been infused with chakra.

"I can't move." Iruka proclaimed. "How about you?"

"I'm stuck." The two men tried to dispel the jutsu, but it failed. They remained immobile, unable to move their lower halves.

"Maybe we should kiss," Kakashi suggested at last.

"What!" Iruka blushed.

"I think it'll let us go if we kiss." The jounin explained. "It's mistletoe. You're supposed to kiss under it. Although, it is out of season."

"All right, I guess it wouldn't hurt to try," Iruka admitted, still pink. Kakashi leaned towards him…

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And placed a masked kiss upon a burning cheek.

"He didn't take the mask off!" Naruto hissed to his teammates. All three of them were watching with wide eyes and blushing. Sakura was transfixed, so Sasuke took it upon himself to smack Naruto's head in her place.

"Keep watching, dobe." He whispered into the kyuubi's ear softly. "I have a feeling Iruka's plan isn't over yet."

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Kakashi walked over to the cabinet that they had been heading for before the mistletoe-y interruption and retrieved a manila folder.

"I told you kissing would do the trick!" he proclaimed.

"Kakashi… I'm still stuck." Iruka said. Kakashi turned around. Sure enough, the chuunin was still paralyzed. "The mistletoe didn't free me because I didn't kiss you."

Kakashi returned to Iruka's side in a flash and presented him with a cloth covered cheek. Iruka placed a tiny peck on it and found he had regained the use of his legs. The sprig of mistletoe vanished in a tiny cloud. The two ninja looked at each other and chuckled.

"I'm sorry, Kakashi-sensei. I guess someone in the academy must have been trying to trap someone else."

"It's chakra-infused. A simple idea, but it would take pretty advanced level ninja to make it hold up against a dispel. Someone intelligent did this. I wonder who?"

"Maybe Sakura was trying to ensnare Sasuke here, eh Kakashi-sensei?"

"Or Sasuke was trying to catch Naruto!" Both shinobi chuckled again as they thought about the love triangle that was Team 7.

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Sakura's jaw dropped as she listened to the men talk. Was it true? That explained a lot…She tore her eyes from them and turned to look at her male teammates.

"Ne, Sasuke? What did Kakashi-pervert mean by that?" Naruto asked his rival in a whisper. Sasuke's face looked like it had just been hit by one of his clan's fire jutsus. He quickly turned his head to the side with a 'hmph!'. Naruto would've kept pestering, but his attention was diverted from the sound coming from the next room.

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Kakashi and Iruka heard the sound of a replication jutsu and felt their lower limbs seize up again. A quick glance upward revealed a ceiling blanketed in mistletoe from corner to corner, expect for the one tiny spot where the lone sprig had hung before. Iruka leaned forward to press his lips to Kakashi's cheek once more, but the other ninja placed a finger on his lips to stop him.

"It would be more time-efficient to kiss each other at the same time, rather than one at a time." He told Iruka, eye curving down in a smirk. That said, he gave Iruka a chaste kiss on the lips with his own clothed mouth. They both took a step toward the door and froze under the next plant. They kissed again. Five kisses, five steps, five mistletoe traps later, Iruka pulled back from Kakashi, flushed.

"Maybe we should go back to the way we were doing it before. It feels strange kissing a mask."

"Yes, I bet it does." Kakashi agreed. Iruka cursed inwardly. 'He's not supposed to AGREE! He's supposed to take the mask off, not go back to pecks on the cheek. I guess he really doesn't like kissing me.' Kakashi tilted Iruka's chin up with one hand and gave him one more masked kiss. Then he let go and hooked a finger under his mask

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"He's taking it off! He's taking it off!" Naruto whispered excitedly to his friends.

"We can see that, dobe! Shut up!" Sasuke hissed back. Sakura didn't respond; she was concentrating valiantly on stemming away the nosebleeds.

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"Would this be better for you, sensei?" Kakashi asked, pulling the mask down tantalizingly slow. "Or do you really not like kissing me?" Iruka blushed as the handsome face was finally revealed. It was pale and smooth, unmarred but for the one scar that extended from under the tilted hitai-ate. And the lips… red, soft, kissable. Iruka stared and blushed and eventually remembered to breathe.

"I think that will work." He said at last, wondering when it was that his throat had gotten so dry. Then he latched his mouth onto those delectable lips. Kakashi blinked and smirked into the kiss. 'Better than porn' was the only thought floating around in his head.

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Had Sakura still been conscious, she could have noted another new first in her journal: Naruto discovers silence. He was watching with eyes wider then even the ones he had used in his puppy-dog stare against Sasuke. His mouth twitched a couple of times, trying to form words, but nothing seemed to emerge. But alas, Sakura missed the monumental occasion; she had already fainted from blood loss.

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Iruka wondered if Kakashi had spotted the loop-hole in the mistletoe-jutsu: it only snared you if there were two people beneath it. If they were to free themselves from one sprig, they could both simply step away from each other and safely leave the room. But, if Kakashi didn't realize it, then Iruka definitely wasn't going to point it out…

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Sasuke had seen many traumatic things in his life: his clan murdered before his eyes, his village ravaged by Orochimaru's sound-nins, friends and enemies slaughtered before him, Tsunade-sama without make-up… but that didn't prepare him for the sight of the his two near father figures making out like there was no tomorrow (in fact, in terms of intensity, they were making out like there was no five minutes from now!). Sasuke didn't know why he couldn't tear his eyes away from the fascinatingly disturbing sight. He didn't know why he couldn't just look away. And he certainly didn't know why the sight of the two handsome male shinobi kissing each other was making him feel butterflies in his stomach. Poor, repressed Sasuke.

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Kakashi and Iruka were almost to the door of the classroom. Somewhere along their journey, although neither one could quite remember when, Kakashi's hand had snaked its way under Iruka's Chuunin vest and shirt, and Iruka's legs had wrapped tightly around Kakashi's waist. When they reached the door and the end of the mistletoe, both pulled apart, panting. Kakashi looked at the door mournfully, but made no move to leave Iruka's embrace.

"Kakashi…" Iruka murmured.

"Yes, Iruka?"

"I think it would be rude to leave all this mistletoe for someone else to get caught in." Kakashi grinned.

"Of course, sensei! We should definitely get rid of the rest of it, for the good of Konoha." Kakashi's lips were back on Iruka's. He pushed the chuunin up against a wall and continued his assault on his mouth. Iruka's brain might have protested faintly that it needed air, but it wasn't getting enough blood to really assert the idea. Besides, Iruka had decided that breathing was highly over-rated.

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"Hey, Sasuke?" Naruto had somehow regained his power of speech. He always had recovered quickly, although he wasn't sure that this healing could be attributed to the kyuubi.

"Do you think they even remember we're here?" Sasuke asked, not paying attention.

"I don't know. I'm hungry; do you want to go get some ramen after this?"

Sasuke was finally able to look away from the hole in the wall to flash his companion a look of disbelief. Then he sighed.

"Sure, dobe. We'll get ramen, if my appetite has recovered by then." Yes, Naruto had a remarkable power of recovery. Sasuke wondered if there was anyone else in the world that could be thinking about food when _that_ was going on not five feet from them. Probably not. But that was why Sasuke lov…er…tolerated him.

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Iruka loved mistletoe. He loved its berries and its stem and its festive holiday colors. Most of all, he loved whatever saint it was that had put a jutsu on it and coated the classroom ceiling with it. Wait…. Had that been him? He tried to remember why. It was so hard to think with Kakashi doing that with his tongue…Mmmm. Something about ramen. Did Kakashi like ramen? Maybe Kakashi would like to eat ramen off of him. Yes, that had to be it. Anyways, he loved whoever it was that had jutsued the mistletoe. And who needed a reason, as long as Kakashi kept running his tongue along his teeth, and nibbling his ear, and nipping at his throat. The mistletoe was disappearing rapidly. They were elite ninja, after all.

Iruka could have cried when Kakashi's (lovely, talented, wonderful) tongue went back behind those kissable lips and into that delicious mouth. He whimpered.

"It's all gone now, Iruka." He pointed up to the bare ceiling. Iruka wanted to protest that he could get more, just wait, the hand seals were on the top of his head-

"Now that that's taken care of, shall we go back to my place?" Iruka didn't say anything, what with his tongue halfway down Kakashi's throat, but he was pretty sure the jounin understood him. They teleported to Kakashi's apartment, still tangled in one another's arms.

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"Sakura! Sakura!"

"Sakura-chan! Wake-up!"

Sakura awoke to find both teammates bending over her, blushing.

"What happened?" she asked. Everything seemed blurry.

"You fainted after Kakashi-sensei took off his mask. Isn't Iruka-sensei brilliant, Sakura-chan! I knew he would be able to able to help us!" Naruto beamed. The fact that his brilliant PLAN had worked, and that he was going to get ramen, seemed to cancel out all of the potential emotional scarring.

Sakura remembered what she had seen, and blushed. Was she allowed to think boys kissing boys was hot? She needed to have an emergency fan-girl meeting with Ino.

"Gottagoseeyoulater!" She shouted in one breath, as she ran out of the room. Sasuke and Naruto looked at each other and shrugged. Girls didn't make sense. They walked out of the room together, Naruto rambling about what kind of ramen he was going to order. As they opened the door that Sakura had slid shut, a note drifted down. It read: 'Don't look so shocked. Did you really think I was going to risk my life for a lousy free ramen pass and a few chores? I had to get something out of this. Enjoy!'

"What does it mean?" Naruto asked. Just then, Sasuke and Naruto heard the sound of a jutsu activating. They felt their legs freeze. Above their heads, they saw a green sprig. So, as Iruka and Kakashi made out in the hallway in front of Kakashi's apartment, and as Sakura and Ino opened the shonen-ai chapter of their fan-girl club, Naruto and Sasuke leaned forward and experienced their first consentual kiss together.

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Awww! It may not seem like much to you guys, but this is my first shonen-ai moment! I didn't expect this chapter to be so long though (its going on seven pages!). Soooo tired now. But yeah, this is kind of the end of this fic. I don't think I'm going to make this one yaoi, so you'll just have to use your pervy little imaginations to decide what happens when Iruka and Kakashi get back to his place. There might be a short epilogue, but you'll have to review if you want it. That's right, folks, REVIEWSEPILOGUE! So get to it!


	4. Epilogue: The Discovery

Howdy, everybody! Sorry this has taken a bit long to get down, but I've been busy trying to get into college. Thank you to everyone who reviewed (and to everyone who didn't, I don't know who you are, but if I did, you can be damn well sure that you'd be getting a mostly sharp glare from me!).

DangerX- Go right ahead. I'm interested in seeing how mistletoe jutsu mania will affect the world of fanfiction.

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Kakashi Unmasked: Take 2

Epilogue- The Discovery

The morning after the PLAN was conceived, carried out, and completed, all of Konoha seemed off-kilter. For one thing, Haruno Sakura _wasn't_ stalking Uchiha Sasuke. Secondly, the aforementioned Uchiha was very purposefully avoiding one Uzumaki Naruto, without a near death experience to explain the awkwardness. Next, Umino Iruka was late to the Konoha academy. And finally, the certain sign of the appending apocalypse- Hatake Kakashi was… _on time…_ meeting his team on the bridge. No, really. He was. Had anyone else in Konoha seen this frightening phenomenon, they would have either promptly ran to the Fifth Hokage for some very strong medications, or barricaded themselves in bomb shelters to (hopefully) survive the alien invasion that would imminently follow.

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How did Team Seven plus Iruka become wrapped up in this strange thread of occurrences, one might ask.

Haruno Sakura was not stalking Sasuke because she was too busy replaying in her head Sasuke and Naruto's accidental kiss from the first day Team Seven was formed, trying to decide if they belonged together. Were they too cute together to interfere with their long denied love, or was Sasuke too damn to give up on? The female nin tried to use her rational thinking to come to a conclusion, but Inner Sakura kept interjecting very unhelpful comments ("Sasuke-kun is too damn fine to let Naruto have him! Our true love will conquer ALL!" "Jump him, Sasuke-kun! Show that Naruto who's boss!"; Inner Sakura was split as well) and breaking her concentration.

Naruto and Sasuke were entangled in a delicate game of 'trying-to-look-at-you-without-you-noticing', with much blushing and glaring when one caught the other, because neither could decide whether their shared kiss was the answer to all the confusing feelings they felt, or just a means of escape from Iruka-sensei's mistletoe jutsu. After they had freed themselves the day before, both boys had fled. (Yes, another sign of certain doom: Naruto had forgotten about ramen.) Since nothing had been resolved, Sasuke and Naruto were stealthily observing one another to see of the other would reveal a clue about how he felt. Both wished that they could settle it with a fight, like usual.

Iruka arrived at the academy a full forty-five minutes late, a dreamy expression on his face. Even his class of exceptionally rowdy five year old ninja didn't affect him, and they had already left the unfortunate chuunin who had been pulled off the streets to act as a substitute for that three-quarters of an hour in need of a good three weeks of intense emotional counseling. Iruka just kept doing what he had been doing during the time he was supposed to be getting to the academy and teaching; he daydreamed about the evening before, when he and Kakashi had made ou… had an adult conversation. A conversation that he hoped would be continued after the teaching day ended…

Hatake Kakashi had a certain way of doing things. His life was a series of routines. On a given day, he would wake up at six o' clock, throw a kunai or seven at the annoying birds that had woken him up with their sickeningly cheerful singing, go back to sleep, wake up again, visit the memorial stone and chat with Obito, grab a bite to eat, read his porn, and finally meander over to the bridge and meet with his irate team. He was always exactly three hours and eight point four minutes late, and he always had a solid excuse ready for his questioning young charges. For an elite genius jounin, he was surprisingly predictable. But today was different. He had woken up at six, like usual, but the birds' song hadn't seemed so annoying. Instead of launching his daily attack at them and going back to sleep, he had gotten ready and went to the stone early. After an hour of telling Obito how wonderful it was to be alive (no offense to him, being dead and all. Kakashi knew his former teammate was understanding enough to not hold it against Kakashi that he was alive while Obito was not), the jounin had bought breakfast from a street vendor and headed off to the bridge, three hours and nine point six minutes earlier than ever before. He didn't even stop to read his Icha Icha Paradise vol 4. After all, why would he want to read about a beautiful blonde heroine with heaving breasts showing through her translucent dress when there was an adorable brown haired sensei waiting for him, not a mile away? He waited one point two minutes before appearing in front of his students (enough time, he found out, to recall exactly four of yesterday's kisses from Iruka). He was a kind, caring sensei, after all. Even before he reached the bridge, he could sense that something was off. He knew the added shock of Kakashi-being-early might kill them. It had nothing at all to do with the four kisses. Not at all. Kakashi was so selfless that it hurt sometimes.

Being as no one was quite acting normally on this fateful day, Team Seven's usual yell-at-Kakashi-sensei was likewise disturbed. When Kakashi arrived at the exact time he had specified, Sakura and Naruto didn't shout at him in unison. Naruto gaped and Sakura blushed as she remembered the handsome face under the mask, and what it had been doing to Iruka-sensei. Sasuke stuttered "You're…on time?" He looked at his teammates questioningly, and realized too late that he had just made eye contact with Naruto. The avenger quickly looked away. Kakashi watched with his visible eyebrow raised. He would have seemed very contemplative indeed, if he hadn't been humming like a love-sick puppy.

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The strange happenings didn't stop there. As Team Seven completed three D-rank missions, a C-rank, and went about their ninja duties, none of them spoke to each other. There interrupted by nosebleeds quite often: whenever Iruka was mentioned or thought about by the sensei, whenever Sakura looked at Kakashi or at Naruto and Sasuke on the few occasions where they came near enough to each other to be seen together, whenever Sasuke looked too long at Naruto, and whenever Naruto fantasized about a pool filled with ramen. At first, Kakashi had attributed the strangeness to his own prompt arrival. After he noticed that the awkward silences and blushes weren't caused by that, he figured it was just because it was a Tuesday. However, being the elite jounin that he was, he soon used his ninja skills to deduce that _something else_ was going on. He observed for a few minutes before mentally cracking his knuckles. Time to put his interrogation skills to good use…

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Kakashi decided to go after Naruto first, since he was the most clueless and therefore least likely to figure out what his sensei was doing and warn his friends.

"Naruto. Come here!"

"What is it, Kakashi-sensei? Are you going to teach me a new kick-ass jutsu so I can beat up that Sasuke-teme?" Ah, Kakashi had to admit, he always found Naruto's enthusiasm and naivety extremely amusing. On an exceptional day like today, it was hard to restrain his laughter.

"Why would you want to beat up Sasuke, Naruto? I thought you were getting along now. Is something going on?" Alright, it wasn't the most subtle of approaches, but Naruto wouldn't have recognized subtlety if it tangoed on his nose, and Kakashi was a little distracted by images of Iruka in a translucent dress quoting passages from Icha Icha vol 4, so he'll have to be forgiven.

"Hell yeah! That bastard said we could get ramen yesterday, but then he skipped out on me after the kiss and I had to go home and make instant ramen, but I didn't have any left and the only edible thing in my house was that fruit basket that you sent but I hate fruit and I had to go a WHOLE DAY without RAMEN! That has to be against the law or something, sensei! I must have REVENGE!" Naruto kept rambling about how when he was Hokage, there would be a mandatory ramen eating decree, and any Uchiha bastards who kept the good citizens from following it would be forced to supervise Academy detentions (which were ranked the most traumatic experience in Konoha, followed closely by torture by Ibiki and abduction by Orochimaru).

"What was that about a kiss?" Kakashi asked slyly. With any luck, Naruto would reveal what was going on.

"Kiss? Oh, shit! Umm… there was no kiss! Nothing happened! I-I've gotta go, sensei!" With that, Naruto fled.

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"Oi, Sakura-chan! I need to speak to you for a moment!" Kakashi called. Operation Interrogate the Students was going quite nicely.

"What do you need, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked, carefully not looking in his direction.

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When Naruto came back to the training area, Sasuke noticed right away that he looked upset. Not that he was looking, or anything. Uchihas were just naturally gifted observers.

"Hey, dobe! What did Kakashi-sensei want?"

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"I know about the kiss, Sakura. And I know that you saw it." Sakura's eyes bugged out of her head. A small 'eep!' came out of her mouth. 'Busted!' Kakashi thought to himself. He was pretty sure he knew what had taken place the day before. Sasuke and Naruto had finally gotten a clue and kissed each other, and Sakura, who would have been stalking Sasuke, had naturally seen everything. Now, the two boys couldn't look at one another, and Sakura was embarrassed about knowing about it. And now Asuma and Gai owed him a lot of money! Life was so very, very good today!

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Naruto and Sasuke came charging into the forest were Sakura was being interrogated, shouting.

"Don't tell him ANYTHING, Sakura!" The Uchiha yelled.

"Don't kill Iruka-sensei, Kakashi-sensei! We put him up to it!" Naruto added, with tears in his eyes.

"Shut up, Naruto!" Sakura and Sasuke screamed.

Kakashi eyed his students, confused. He decided a more intense interrogation would be needed.

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For Iruka, the day passed by in a blur. Six hours seemed like six minutes. After he had only just arrived, it was time for dismissal. He released his students with a dreamy sigh. And if he had forgotten to collect their homework, assign them more, give them the scheduled test he had promised, and send home notes with a few ill-behaved pupils, they certainly weren't going to ruin his day by mentioning it. They considered it divine intervention that instead of being tested on their replacement techniques, they were given three times the normal recess time. His students weren't sure what had happened to Iruka-sensei, but they did know that they wanted it to happen everyday (Had Iruka known, he would have agreed.).

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After the children left and Iruka finished straightening up the classroom, the chuunin heard groaning coming form the next classroom. (He noticed with a pleasant shiver that it was _that_ classroom, the one that just yesterday had been covered in mistletoe.) In his giddy, Kakashi-induced state, he decided to check out what was going on, not by the giant shuriken holes hidden in the shadows, but by going into the classroom.

He found Kakashi (his heart leaped, and a smile formed on his face)… and Team Seven…bound and gagged and hanging upside down on the ceiling (the smile went away quite quickly).

"Kakashi?"

"Yes?" Kakashi at least had the decency to look a bit sheepish.

"Why are my students tied to the ceiling?"

"What students?" Kakashi asked, looking around, feigning confusion. He decisively didn't look up.

"Kakashi!" Iruka used his best 'angry sensei' voice (which he might have avoided if he had had any idea of the dirty thoughts it inspired in the silver-haired jounin).

Naruto bit at the gag and finally pulled it off. "Run, Iruka-sensei! He knows! Save yourself!" His huge blue eyes were still brimming with tears. One fell, unable to fight gravity any longer. The classroom fell silent. A murderous intent filled the room. Iruka drew a kunai and, with the flick of a wrist, the three genin were on the floor, pulling off the ropes that had restrained them.

"You'd better leave now, children." Iruka said, in his freaky, quiet 'you're soooo in trouble I'm not going to yell at you' teacher voice. They were gone before he finished his sentence, even though they knew The Voice wasn't directed at them. "You made Naruto cry." The sensei told the recipient of The Voice. "Explain, in ten words or less, before I'm forced to punish you.

At any other time, Kakashi would have flashed a lecherous grin (or so one would have to gather from his visible eye) and begged Iruka "Punish me, please, sensei!" But, being the elite jounin that he was, he knew that this wasn't the time, as he was quite fond of having all his limbs and appendages.

"You used the mistletoe to see my face yesterday!"

"I thought it was a pretty good prank. You disagree?" Iruka asked, somehow looking mischievous and innocent at the same time.

"I thought that…I mean… It didn't mean…" Kakashi trailed off and turned away. Alas, even an elite jounin like Kakashi couldn't be expected to be a genius at everything. He looked so sad and vulnerable that Iruka felt guilty.

"Kakashi… look at me, Kakashi! I might have tricked you a little, but I wouldn't have kissed you if I didn't like you. Do you think I would have risked pissing off a jounin just because those three wanted to see what you look like? "

"They said they promised you ramen." Iruka could hear the pout through the black cloth mask. Dealing with jounin could be surprisingly similar to dealing with children sometimes. Iruka sighed.

"I'm sorry, Kakashi. How can I make it up to you?"

"You did betray me. I don't know if I'm ever going to recover from the emotional scarring. I put a lot of work into being mysterious to my kids, and now that's all gone." Anyone who thought genius ninja were serious and noble had never seen them sulk, Iruka thought to himself.

"There must be _something_, Kakashi."

"Well, if you're really sure, there is one thing you could do that might earn you my forgiveness." Kakashi appeared next to Iruka suddenly and whispered in his ear. And it wasn't just the warm breath that caused the flush on his face.

"Kakashi!" he shouted, scandalized. "This is a classroom! We can't!"

"You didn't seem to mind yesterday, sensei. Didn't you say you wanted to make up for your betrayal?"

"That reminds me, Kakashi. Speaking of yesterday, about what Naruto said about your mission report… It turns out that of the ninety-three mission reports you've turned in over these past few months, you've turned ninety-one in to me, eighteen of which you've given to me off hours."

"All right. You don't have to 'punish' me here if you don't feel comfortable…"

"Furthermore, when I asked my students, they said that they've been seeing flashes of silver outside of the classroom windows during class time. I thought it was just me, and that I must be seeing things, but they've confirmed it…"

"And it doesn't HAVE to be Icha Icha vol 4! That was just a suggestion!" Kakashi said desperately.

"In the last four weeks, you've paid no less than five students and three teacher aides to take pictures of me when I'm not looking…"

"I forgive you! I forgive you!"

"You've been stalking me, Kakashi! I thought I was going crazy, but it's been you all along."

Kakashi reminded Iruka of a guilty Konohamaru, looking only at his feet, awaiting judgment. Iruka laughed.

"I guess that makes us even. You stalked me, I showed Team Seven your face. Now, ask me out to dinner, before I decide you're too much of a basket-case to consider dating."

"Huh?" Kakashi looked up. Now he looked like a masked puppy, with that adoring gaze. "Oh. Iruka-sensei, would you like to go out to dinner with me?"

Iruka pretended to consider for a moment. "All right. But only if you kiss me."

Kakashi happily complied.

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Out in the streets, Sakura and Sasuke were desperately trying to console Naruto.

"Kakashi-sensei won't hurt him. He likes him too much, Naruto!" Sakura told him, patting his shoulder.

"I think Kakashi-sensei's the one we should be worried about. Iruka-sensei was using his teacher voice." Sasuke added. Dealing with emotions wasn't his forte, but he was willing to try for Naruto. Because he was a good team mate, and an emotionally unsound teammate would be a liability, not because the sight of Naruto crying made him feel like his clan had been slaughtered five times over…

"But if he hurts Iruka-sensei, it'll be all my fault, and I love Iruka-sensei." Sasuke didn't feel a spike of jealousy at that. He only grimaced because he'd been bitten by a bug at that exact moment. "He's like a father to me and he buys me ramen and he doesn't care that everyone else hates me and-"Sasuke placed a finger on Naruto's lips to cut off the rambling.

"Listen to me, dobe. Iruka-sensei isn't going to die. He has Kakashi wrapped around his fingers. Now, let's go get some ramen. Your hunger is obviously messing with your limited ability to think." Sasuke offered Naruto a hand to help him up. He turned to ask Sakura if she'd be getting ramen with them, but she'd disappeared.

"Are you treating, teme?" Naruto asked, all traces of tears gone. Sasuke nodded, and stumbled when Naruto tackle-glomped him.

"I love you, Sasuke-teme! Come on, let's go!" Naruto detached himself from his teammate and sprinted for the ramen stand. Sasuke waited for a moment, to regain his composure. It simply wouldn't do for the sole heir of the Uchiha clan to wonder around the village with a love struck grin on his face.

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Sakura watched the hug and departure of her male teammates from her hiding space two stories up. Once she had seen that SasuNaru moment coming, she'd made herself scarce. After all, she knew how frustrating it was to have someone interfering with love. She quietly followed Naruto and Sasuke. All day, she's wondered what she was going to do with herself. Stalking Sasuke when he liked someone else had seemed wrong to her. Now, she felt a whole new purpose. Sasuke and Naruto were both idiots when it came to romance; they'd need time, opportunities, and more than a few pushes before they'd be willing to admit their feeling s for each other. They'd need to be sheltered from the less understanding Uchiha fan-girls, who'd try to break them apart. In short, they'd need someone helping their relationship along silently every step of the way. Sakura loved both her teammates, and she'd devote her honed stalking skills and romance savvy to helping them be happy together. And if she happened to see them kiss, make out, or maybe even do more, she'd grin and bear it… and take a HELL of a lot of pictures for herself and Ino to squeal over later.

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Three months later, there were whispers throughout Konoha. Things had gone back to normal for the most part: Kakashi was back to being late and reading his porn, Iruka was getting to class on time and collecting assignments, Naruto and Sasuke were settling all disputes with their fists, and Sakura was happily stalking. But a few changes had been noted by the more observant members of Konoha Village. The boldest of the Uchiha fan-girls met with very strange accidents if they tried to press their affections on Sasuke too much, especially if they did so when he was with Naruto. Kakashi could still be seen outside Iruka's classroom sometimes, but he no longer made an attempt to hide himself. But the strangest piece of gossip came from Gai.

"I was training my Beloved Students in the Springtime of their Youth, when I met up with my Hip and Modern Eternal Rival, Kakashi. I challenged him to a Contest of Wits and Strength, which he accepted with a Cool and Distant Response." Gai would tell his enraptured audiences, with many hand gestures and blinding smiles. He would describe the Contest, to carve the 'Most Beautiful and Youthful Sculpture, using only Kunai, Artistic Genius, and Youthful Inspiration'.

"He won, which brings our score to ninety-eight to ninety-seven, with a Hip and Wonderfully Realistic image of the Beautiful Iruka-sensei, the Masterful Teacher of my own Adored Students. And then, the Brilliant Iruka-sensei himself appeared and asked to speak with my Rival. Kakashi followed him with Enthusiasm befitting a Peer of mine. But he left behind his Book of Adult Literature and Free Love. I myself resolved to deliver to back to him safely, or I would do five hundred upside-down push-ups. I picked up my Eternal Rival's novel, and some photographs fell out. I would not have looked at the Private and Sacred Property of my Rival, because the Sensitive Nature of the Book might taint the Purity of my Youthful Innocence, but as I was placing them back inside the Novel, I caught a glimpse of one. It was a picture of the Marvelous Iruka-sensei, Sternly Correcting a Youthful Student on Kunai Throwing Techniques. All the pictures that had fallen out were of Iruka-sensei."

At that, the audience would gasp and whisper amongst themselves. And Gai would politely refrain from mentioning that the _other_ pictures he had found inside the book were less innocent. He was glad to know that instead of reading porn and stalking the object of his affection, his rival was in a healthy two-way relationship. Ah, the Sacred Springtime f Love brought tears to his eyes. Kakashi was well ahead of him in the field of romance. Gai swore with a bright flash of teeth and an extended thumb that he would find love as well, or else run two hundred laps around Konoha backwards.

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It was hard to tell who the happiest person in Konoha that year. Kakashi and Iruka both found something that was starting to like more suspiciously like love every day, Naruto and Sasuke began hanging out with each other with no physical violence involved, and Sakura no longer suffered from unrequited love and had found a new calling in life. However, the happiest creatures in Konoha seemed to be the birds outside of Kakashi's window. They were free to sing their songs and spread their cheerful happy peacefulness around the village, because Kakashi no longer through kunai at them every day. They could make music to their heart's content, and Iruka kept Kakashi happy enough that he wouldn't take his rage out at them. And they also enjoyed the beautiful sensei/sensei action they caught through those windows. But really, it was about the spreading of joy. Really!

…

No, I don't believe them either. But the point is, this ending coming up right down there, it's a happy one. We won't begrudge our birds a little denial, no matter how jealous we are of them. Who knows, maybe they'll send some pictures our way?

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The end of my first slash fic!

Hope you all had fun!

If you want more slash, tell me so

And this won't be the only one!

I love you, my audience! Thank you for reading!


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